Drunk on Soda
by InsaneRedneck007
Summary: The question of endless ages: can you get drunk on soda? Murdock and Face prepare to find out... but Hannibal uses their plan to his advantage.


**Author's Note:** Today is Sharlto Copley's birthday, or, in other words, the Movie Murdock's birthday. This story is Face-centric, but it's an A-Team story.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The A-Team, I just want to give Sharlto a present for his birthday.

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"Murdock, there is no way that I'm going to do that. That's the stupidest idea that I've ever heard."

"Oh, c'mon! I need to know the answer!" Murdock pouted. "It'll just be like an episode of Mythbusters!"

Face rubbed his face with his hands. "You can't get drunk on soda, Murdock. It's just a fact of nature."

Murdock thoughtfully rubbed his chin. "You sure about that?"

"One hundred percent."

"Then let's make it a bit more interesting and call a bet. You know the new obstacle course that Hannibal built?"

"Yeah," Face said, getting a little wary at the sound of one of Hannibal's obstacle courses.

"You know the mud pit?"

Face nodded. He hadn't gotten in there (nobody had) but Hannibal had been prodding him to. Face hated mud. Mud made him... well... _dirty_. Besides, the mud was freezing cold.

"If we get drunk on soda, then you'll swim in that pit. If we don't, then I'll get in the pit. Deal?" Murdock held out his hand.

Face shook Murdock's hand. "Alright. But only on the condition that we get root beer, I'm sick of all that coca-cola that Hannibal keeps getting."

Murdock nodded. "I'll get some Fanta Orange, Mountain Dew, and Root Beer, and we can have the party of a lifetime."

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Hannibal and B.A. listened right outside the door, Hannibal grinning like a maniac and B.A. grinning because... well, smiles were addictive, ok?

"Face would never get into that mud pit," Hannibal said as he clamped his mouth over a cigar. "If he lost the bet, he'd have to."

"He's still not gonna, Hannibal. You can't get drunk on soda."

Hannibal's grin widened. "That's where we come in. Now get the van up and going, we need to take a trip to the grocery store."

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"Ok, I think that's the last of it," Murdock said happily as he shoved a plastic two-liter bottle of root beer into the fridge.

The fridge was full of soda, stacked horizontally all the way to the shelves at the top. They probably wouldn't be able to drink that much in one night, but the two could certainly try.

"Let's get this party started," Face said as he tugged two bottles of soda out and set it on the counter.

"I'll set up Call of Duty on the Xbox," Murdock said happily as he ran over to the couch. "Pour me a soda."

"Who needs to pour? Let's just drink it out of the bottles," Face said, pulling out a bag of Cheetos and a bag of Chex.

Murdock smiled. "Now we're talking, Muchacho."

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Face awoke with a roaring headache. The TV was still blaring the Call of Duty music, and everything was so _bright._ What happened?

All too quickly he realized that he was having a hangover. He frantically patted himself down and was relieved to discover that he was still wearing his clothes.

He turned to his side and saw that he was laying on the floor, his back to the wall and his torso facing the living room.

Murdock, on the other side of the room, was lying haphazardly on the couch. A handful of Cheetos were still clutched in his hand and drool was falling out of his mouth onto the couch.

Under Face's gaze, Murdock slowly began to wake up. His squinted eyes landed on Face.

"What happened?"

"I... I have no idea."

Sun was beginning to pour in through the windows, and Face slowly climbed up to pull them shut. Once he succeeded, he collapsed on the couch next to Murdock.

Murdock, despite his hangover, was smiling. "I won, Face. We were drunk last night."

Face shook his head, then regretted the action. "But it's not possible... I was a hundred percent sure..."

"... You were a hundred percent wrong," Murdock gloated. "But I'll be merciful and allow... us... to get over our hangovers before you get into the mud pit."

"How much did we drink, anyways?" Face asked.

"I don't know," Murdock said, settling deeper into the couch. "But I'm going to sleep a little more."

Face nodded. "Me, too."

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Face bit his lip as he stared down into the dark, cold mud pit.

How was it even possible? You can't get drunk on soda- you just can't. It's not possible.

"Murdock, l... let's talk about this," Face stuttered, his stomach churning in disgust and a little bit of fear at the mud.

"Nope-aroo, Face guy," Murdock said happily as he watched Face standing near the edge of the mud pit.

Hannibal and B.A. were sitting on the ground, each holding a bag of popcorn and watching eagerly. Neither of them had gotten much sleep the night before, and needless to say, B.A. was a bit irate.

Face swallowed hard, then turned to Murdock. "C'mon, Murdock. We all know that you can't get drunk on soda."

Murdock nodded. "Oh, yes, you can. You did. So get into the pit before I tell Hannibal and B.A. about Ecuador."

Face's eyes widened, and he turned back to the mud pit, getting prepared to jump.

Face pinpointed the exact millisecond when his feet hit the surface of the mud. It was not the best millisecond that he had ever experienced.

Face went under into the mud- then resurfaced, feeling extremely dirty. He desperately clawed at the edge of the pit, climbing out and furiously wiping himself off.

"But you can't get drunk on soda," Face muttered to himself, then pointed at Murdock. "We're re-matching. Re-stock up on soda, I'm going to prove you wrong."

Murdock smiled and nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"HANNIBAL!" B.A. roared as he glared at Hannibal. "You just had to get them drunk! You just had to! Now I won't get a proper night's sleep again!"

Face and Murdock had turned their gazes to the perplexed Colonel.

"I didn't do anything," Hannibal said, shrugging.

The pieces came together in Face's head, and he angrily stalked towards Hannibal. "Yeah, you did. You spiked the soda so that _we_ would get drunk and _I_ would have to go for a swim in the mud pit!"

Hannibal started to studder and back up at the intensity of Face's stare. "Uhh... Face, you don't know what you're talking about.."

"Oh?" Face asked as he herded Hannibal towards the mud pit, Murdock and B.A. backing Face up.

Hannibal was now standing at the edge of the mud pit. He took one glance at Face's face, then took a plunge into the mud.

Murdock and B.A. started cheering... until Murdock got behind B.A. and pushed him in.

"What was that for?" B.A. yelled as he surfaced. "I'm gonna kill you, fool!"

Murdock shrugged. "You helped Hannibal. And you ratted on him."

Face smiled and put his muddy arm around Murdock. "I appreciate that, buddy."

Murdock smiled and put his own arm around Face. "Yup. Let's go hose you off, and while we're at it, let's get the squirt guns and the dolphin-sprinkler thingi out."

Face nodded and started to run off. "Last one to the garage is a rotten egg!"

"No fair!" Murdock yelled as he started to run towards Face.

The End


End file.
